“I didn’t know that this is what I signed up for.” This ran through my mind constantly when my husband first joined the police academy. What an evolution from the days of shining his boots and cutting off tiny threads on his uniforms. Nearly 11 years later, he is now involved with details in his department, working overtime all of the time and never has a day truly free from work.
Life sure is different. Different than what you might ask? Well, different from every other married couple that I know who isn’t in a LEO relationship.
The Sacrifice
When we said our vows, I knew that only days later my husband would start the police academy. At this point, I still had no idea how it feels to be in a relationship with a police officer. This was the beginning of me surrendering my time with him. As he went on his journey, he shared with me this deep importance, a calling if you will. The calling was for him to become something greater than himself by serving those in need. He wanted to be a protector, a guide and a leader in his community.
When I understood that this profession took time away from us, it was difficult to cope with at first. The most amazing thing started to happen as I saw him grow into his profession. I gained a new understanding of how impactful him fulfilling his purpose was. His outreach was vast each day that he went to work. This made me feel incredibly proud of his well doing. The intimate understanding of what it means to protect and serve started to flourish.
The Difficult Times
My husband and I worked different schedules for the majority of 5 years after we got married. The truth is that we didn’t even take our honeymoon until several years after we were married. I was and still am alone a lot of the time. Holidays, birthdays, deaths, births, celebrations…none of these events can ever have a solidified slot on our schedule as a couple. If something comes up, my husband either works or he doesn’t. This results in me going solo many times throughout the year. It’s not easy to go alone to begin with. Then I get all of the questions from those wondering where my husband is at. Sometimes, it is more difficult to respond to these questions than making the decision to attend events alone in the first place.
Him First, Me Second
If there are three loads of laundry to be done and I am not feeling well and only want to do one, which should I choose? The load with my husband’s uniforms of course. Couple that with cancelling a weekend trip together because my LEO was asked to work last-minute overtime at a rave. The Costco trip that we have delayed taking can either wait a few more weeks or I can go at it alone. Sure, I could haul the 4 cases of water, 6 cases of protein shakes and all other large items on my own. The truth is that this is one of the things that I appreciate my husband’s help with. So instead, I’ll just wait for him and buy the expensive smaller packs of toilet paper at another store.
The Headlines
It’s 5pm and I’ve already done all of the daily duties of owning and operating a household on my own because he’s working late again. I flip on the television and the news is broadcasting a new headline: Police Officer Shot and Killed While Eating Lunch on Patrol. Wow…that officer was exactly the same as my own. He went to work and when he finally spared a few minutes to eat, he sat down with a huge red target on his back. After seeing this, I decide to gain some true knowledge. If you are reading this and you are a LEO or LEO wife, you understand that a majority of what we see in the media is absolutely promoted in ways to benefit their pocket and not the validity of the story and those involved. As I find the family on Facebook, I start to see shared messages that include condolences mixed with the most atrocious comments following the death of anyone. “The officer probably deserved it. One less pig on the streets. Better him than me.” I shut it all off and patiently wait for my husband to come home.
How it Feels to be in a Relationship With a Police Officer
How can I love a life where I am subject to such negativity all of the time? It’s simple. I understand and adore my husband’s passion to Protect and Serve. Nothing about his actions make me doubt that he conducts himself professionally and justly each day. Nobody else in this world knows how honorable my husband is at home. I know that the true nature of this transcends into his work each day. Despite any negative backlash that I see from the media or from those who don’t live behind the Thin Blue Line, I know his truths. I know the values and virtues that guide us each day. Most importantly, I trust that our belief in a higher power will guide him home safe to me each night.
To my dear LEO Warriors, if any of this resonates with you, I want you to know that you are not alone. I think that you are beautiful, you are strong and you are LEO Warriors. Sign up for our newsletter and receive resourceful information that is completely curated around YOU. If you have a writing suggestion, please comment below or message me directly on Facebook @leowarriors1.
