I Don’t Care, You Pick
I used to get frustrated at the “I don’t care, you pick” mantra that would constantly stream through my marriage. Occasionally, my LEO and I would both return from work relatively close to the same time. It would come time for dinner and I would ask him what he want to eat. Without fail, he would respond by telling me that he didn’t care what we ate and for me to decide.
This seems like a gray area that exists in most marriages, right? For me, this turned into something much deeper. As time progressed, my husband would never show his assertiveness in activities together such as dinner or weekend activities. This resulted in me feeling like he was losing interest in me and us as a unit. I recalled the times when we were dating and his creativity would flow with ideas of new ways to experience life together. After we committed to one another, that creativity began to fade. When he began law enforcement, that creativity nearly died at one point.
Impact on Marriage
In full transparency, this began to impact other areas of our life such as our intimacy, both physical and emotional. Eventually, this led to a lack of communication. My LEO became so comfortable with telling me to choose everything, this being his way to appease me. In turn, this continued to make me feel that he had less and less interest in me and in us. LEOs are people pleasures by nature. This same “I don’t care, you pick” mantra is the same one they face with one another when deciding what to eat for lunch.
How Long Can I Put Up With This
Sure, I did my own thing for a long, long time. He wore the pants in the relationship but I picked out the color. The systematic routine of life set in and to my LEO, it was okay because it was comfortable. Meanwhile, I was beginning to boil over inside. I voiced my desire for the man in him to come back home over and over again. There were times when I yelled, wrote in text, sent him long e-mails. I cried about it both alone in the shower and face to face with him. He just didn’t hear me.
I have never doubted my LEO’s love for me and faith in our marriage; however, this problem in our marriage was making me question how much longer I could tolerate it. Why can’t men understand that we married a man for a reason. Our differing anatomical and physiological makeup creates a point of desire for that of the opposite sex (in many cases). There is nothing that turns me on more than when my husband takes control in full confidence of any situation. It shows me his masculinity that I adore. That combined with how he has the ability to still be so gentle and sweet with me makes me feel lovestruck time and time again.
Life Coaching and Meditation
Something was missing, but not all hope was lost. As I began a life coaching journey of my own, I began to meditate. My training was more intense than most and I couldn’t help but share and incorporate my new tools into my marriage. I started to see impactful changes in my own life and in turn, it rubbed off on my LEO. Today, we both meditate daily. We journal, exercise, and eat right regularly. This connection that we have to our individual higher power is something we have never felt so strong in. Work is great for each of us but more importantly, our love and marriage is the strongest it has ever been.
While focusing on ourselves as individuals, we were able to work harder and put more effort into our marriage. We feel amazing and love ourselves for where we are at today. More importantly, the love that we have for one another is beyond a limit that we could have ever imagined.
I Know What I Want
Now, when I ask the question of what my husband wants for dinner, he tells me directly. Most times, however, I will just tell him what I am making for dinner. The same goes for our extracurricular activities. He will plan something or I will tell him what we are going to do. We don’t fuss over using the excuse of wanting to please the other person. Now, we simply do things to please the other person.
Think about your own life. When was the last time that this simple act of indecisiveness has led to an argument? Why does this type of situation upset you? What would happen in your life and the life of your family if you started to just announce and not ask? Chances are that your LEO or spouse is going to be more appreciative at the assertiveness that you are demonstrating.
Always know that you are beautiful, you are strong, you are LEO Warriors.
